The suffering has been going on for nearly seven years. No medical care and living on the side of the road has taken it’s toll. I feel like I can only hang on another few months and that will be the end for me. The cause of death: America.
A semi truck accident in 2018 left me with serious injuries to my hips, left arm and leg. Because the insurance companies involved refused to pay for any injuries or damage from the accident, I have received no medical care for these injuries and they have gotten progressively worse. Each and every day is twenty four hours of constant pain.
The damage to my hips, especially my left hip, now prevents me from moving freely. I cannot stand, sit or lie down without sharp, stabbing pain. An active bicycle riding, kayaking and healthy adult just a few years ago, I am now a cripple who had difficulty standing or walking. Sleeping at night is very painful. The pain wakes me up every hour or two and I have to move around until the pain temporarily subsides and I can sleep for another hour or two. This goes on all night, every night until the pain get so bad I have to wake up, usually about 0400 or 0500. When I wake up, I have to gingerly move around for about a half hour in severe pain before I can do anything with just moderate pain. Most days, I wake up just as tired as when I tried to go to sleep. After seven years, this has caused some damage.
In addition to the injuries from the semi truck accident, which was not my fault, my lungs have been permenently damaged after being sprayed by agricultural chemicals while riding my bicycle on a public road. This has left me with COPD, which forces me to take medication to stay alive. Eventually COPD causes death.
All my life, I’ve tried to live a healthy lifestyle and was in very good shape for my age until I was poisoned by agricultural crop spraying. Until that happened, I had not been to a doctor or taken any prescription drugs for twenty years. Now I am crippled and have a terminal disease, all due to the actions of others, none of whom have had to accept responsibility for their actions.
Money is the most important thing in America and it is far more important than life itself. The commercial farmer spraying pesticide into the windy skies doesn’t care if he’s hurting or killing anybody. His business takes priority over everything. The guys driving the crop sprayer and handling the dangerous chemicals are migrant workers. When they get sick from being poisoned on a daily basis, he calls ICE and has them shipped back to Mexico. This shows the tremendous lack of respect for human life by a church going, American flag waving pillar of the community. Besides, the farmer’s cousin is probably the local Department of Agriculture representative and his brother-in-law is the County Judge. In America, there is much more to the picture than meets the eye. At this stage of the game, everything in America, everything that is American, is a partial truth. At best.
The semi truck accident in 2018 was an event that changed my life. Stopped for a constuction zone flagman, rear ended by a semi truck with a passenger, dog and driver who did not touch the brakes, is clearly the fault of the commercial truck driver. Following the accident, my insurance company and the truck drivers insurance company refused to pay for any injuries or damage, repeatedly threatened me and stole my truck using false documents. When I called the State of Oregon, whose road construction job site it was, I was told by Oregon State Police that if I called again “I would be the next veteran suicide”.
With minimal investigation on my part, it was pretty clear that the truck that hit me in the construction zone was delivering cartel drugs. Owned by eastern Europeans in Chicago, it was common knowledge among truck drivers they were a cartel delivery company. The American trucking “industry” is under the control of organized crime and has been for decades. The “insurance industry” is another front for organized crime, providing “protection” without regulation or oversight, also for decades. All under the protection of state and local police, also on the payroll, commercial trucks deliver cartel drugs to every city and town in the United States, running people over, killing a few here and there. How many people are injured and killed by semi truck drivers? With police and federal transportation officials on the organization payroll, the fabricated statistics and reports created to favor insurance company interests will never show the truth.
As a result of the semi truck accident and the insurance companies refusal to pay for any damages or medical expenses, all my retirement savings were exhausted. I was severely injured, homeless and down to my last fifty dollars. All because I obeyed the law and stopped for that construction zone flagman. About a year following the accident, I filed a claim in my county Small Claims Court, the only legal option available to me. The judge bent over backwards with the insurance company lawyer(no attorney for me) to make sure the insurance companies got their way, ruling the truck driver who ran over a vehicle stopped in a construction zone had no responsibility for his actions and his insurance company had no obligation to pay for any injuries or damages. The judge did make the insurance company pay blue book value for my truck that they stole using false documents(an “oversight” according to the judge) and waived a year’s worth of storage fees. The insurance company not only stole my truck, they were charging me for storage fees. I walked out of the county courthouse in my hometown of 1500 people a homeless veteran, while the out of town insurance lawyer walked out with a pocketful of profit. I had hoped to get enough money to replace my hearing aids that were lost in the accident and insurance refused to replace, so that I could at least hear enough to carry on a conversation, but that was not the case. Not having any money was bad, not being able to hear was pretty much a life sentence of homelessness.
With basically no money, almost deaf and no treatment for serious injuries, my only hope was the Veterans Administration. I don’t like going to the VA because there are other veterans who need help more than I do. My medical expenses should be paid by the people who caused the damage, but that’s not the way things work here in America. The Veterans Administration is chronically underfunded and understaffed. This is particularly true of small rural VA clinic that I go to. They serve thousands of veterans across a good portion of two states with insufficent resources. I get hearing aids, which I am grateful for, from a large VA facility about two hours away. I only go there every five years, so I may be done with that. I have always been treated with respect by the healthcare professionals at the local VA facilities. I have no complaint with any of them and am grateful for any assistance they have provided me.
Each year, I have a thirty minute annual physical to qualify for prescription medication which I need to stay alive. In that thirty minutes, usually by “tele-med”, a physicians assistant or medical personell on video conference. About eight months following the accident, at my annual VA appointment in 2019, I told the VA person on the tele-med that I was really hurt and I’m living in my truck, I could use a little help. I can’t honestly say they told me “no”, my request was simply ignored. I also called the VA Audiology Department to see if I could get replacement hearing aids. Usually, things with the VA take a long time. Making appointments a year in advance is normal. Largely due to the COVID pandemic, it would take more than two years before I could get a pair of hearing aids.
The COVID pandemic curtailed or shut down a good portion of VA health services for veterans. During the pandemic, the only contact with the VA was by the Veterans Administration website. In person visits were cancelled for a couple years, then switched over to tele-med. Every year, I would go in for the annual physical. Each year, I say that I’m hurt, it’s getting worse and I’m living in my truck, I could use a little help. Each year my request was ignored.
I made the same request year after year, ignored each time, until 2024, last year. When you have serious injury and you don’t get treatment, it gets worse. After years of no medical care and living outdoors 24/7, the pain was reaching the unbearable point, I really needed some help. The physicians assistant I was speaking with, going through paperwork while talking, said some things that made me wonder if he was looking at the correct patient file. Finally, he told me I need to see a psychologist. I was hit by a semi truck and the treatment plan is to see a psychologist? This diagnosis was so far off, it was shocking. Even worse, anyone can plainly see that I am having trouble walking. I walk with a pronounced limp and have difficulty getting out of a chair. When I move my left shoulder, cracking and popping noises can be clearly heard and the rough, jagged action of rotating my shoulder can be easily felt. Yet, the VA chooses to not use a primary tool of science, direct observation. As a result, a major misdiagnosis was made. Along with the fact that VA employees are not required to provide service to veterans they don’t like, I was now going backwards and my trust and confidence in VA healthcare is gone.
This year, 2025, I am just about to show up for the appointment that I made a year in advance in cancelled with two hours notice. As I mentioned, this is a rural area and the VA Clinic is not just down the street. I told them, due to the wildly incorrect diagnosis of the previous year, I did not want treatment I felt not only was not beneficial, but was actually hurting me. Saying someone is mentally ill with no testing, based on fifteen minutes of video conferencing, I felt was pretty reckless and completely incorrect. I told the VA I did not want to continue that type of treatment, could you just please continue the prescription medication I need to keep breathing? Begging and grovelling for medical care is another benefit of VA healthcare. I was told that I am required to have an annual physical to continue prescription medication. Hopefully, they will, at least for awhile.
I was run over in a construction zone by a semi truck owned and operated by a criminal organization under the protection of American state and county law enforcement officers. The driver and the owners of the truck had no responsibility for the injuries and damage they caused, confirmed by a Klickitat County, Washington judge, ruling neither the driver of the truck or the owner of the truck were personally responsible for their actions. As a result the accident, I lost all my savings and became homeless along with being crippled. I asked the Veterans Administration medical personel for help six years in a row and the request was ignored six years in a row. Now, I’m seventy three years old, I’ve been living outdoors year round for eight years. I am in constant, intense pain all day and all night. I can’t lie down, stand or sit for any length of time. I have no hope of anything positive happening. I can’t take the pain much longer and no hope for the future beyond the next fifteen minutes.
Veteran suicide is not a veteran killing himself. It’s slow torture and needless death. The society that calls them “heroes” is the same society that lied to a young person, promising they would be taken care of later if they served the nation now. This has got to be one of the greatest lies of a nation built on a foundation of lies. Many died in American political/econonmic “wars”, losing every war since World War II. Perhaps even worse than death, some veterans had to kill other human beings in these political wars. These are terrible things for most people to live with. Some people just want it all to end and it does. The veteran may have pulled the trigger, but he did not kill himself. I have known veterans who went this way and I can say without any doubt that they did not get the help they needed. They asked for help, they didn’t get it. It’s the same story over and over. It’s probably going to be my story as well.
Back in 2018 following the semi truck accident, threats from the truck owner’s insurance company and most serious of all, the death threats from Oregon State Police to make me a “veteran suicide”, were the impetus to create this website. Should I suffer “suicide” at the hands of the police, there would be a chance that my side of the story would be told. Back then, some of the things I said may have sounded outrageous. Now, in July, 2025, America has a convicted felon as President, who has hand picked corrupt judges and appointed corrupt cronies to important Federal government positions. The civil rights of Americans, supposedly protected by the Constitution, are being revoked by Presidential executive orders. The American military is on the on the streets of America, seizing American citizens off the street by order of the President and incarcerating them in the first round of American concentration camps. President Trump has cut healthcare and public assistance to veterans like myself and to American senior citizens. Trump has also cut funding for the Veterans Administration. President Trump says he “hates people who didn’t vote for him” and is using taxpayer funded resources to punish Americans he views as not loyal to him. People will die, just like me, to save billionaires a few bucks on taxes.
I will be dead soon, I have no other real options. I have punished far more severely for obeying the law and stopping at a stop sign than the armed insurrectionists who tried to violently overthrow the United States government. Sad part is, a lot of other people will die as well. For no reason other than to buy some billionaire a new swimming pool. This website will be my headstone. The truth doesn’t mean anything when I’m alive, maybe it will mean something when I’m dead. I stand by what I said seven years ago and I say it again today. America is a failed civilization and it’s not going to be around much longer. I’ve had a pretty good life until the last part of it, I certainly don’t want to be around when the hate filled, armed to the teeth Americans start shooting each other. There will be chaos as never seen before as 300 million Americans try to kill each other.